This is my second to last night in Romania for a while. Susan and Jacob left this morning and Adam leaves tomorrow. It is more bitter than sweet. Tonight, we went out to dinner with the whole staff. It was a surprise going away party for Fibia, who is leaving for London next week. There was of course a little crying and a lot of laughing. It is a small representative sample of the lives the staff lead. A little crying and a lot of laughing. Its about this time during the trip that the realization always hits me. I am here for 2 weeks or 3 months or whatever. This is their life. More than that, this is the life of so many kids in the government system.
I'd like to say something really profound and meaningful, but I really don't have any more to say here. I am so full of papanasi that I can't really think and I have never really been great with words. I don't really want to leave, but I know that God has plans for me elsewhere right now.
I had a great time playing with an 8 year old this morning, I have never been so happy that I can speak and understand Romanian. We pretended we were in Dracula's castle and she came over to borrow some milk. We sat on ALL of the benches in the park and we climbed all the rope ladders and wooden steps that I should be too old for. This afternoon, we finished the last of the stop motion videos with the girls, then Adam gave a short devotion on how our worth comes from who we are, not how we look. It is a lesson the staff has been trying to get to stick for a long time. They won't listen to Romanian women, they won't listen to American women, maybe they will listen to an American man. Not to be pessimistic, Adam did a great job, but it is hard to tell a 15 year old girl to find worth in her soul and heart and not in boys when she just has to go back and center where she will be physically and sexually abused. I don't know what the answer is.
The devotion that Adi, and Romanian pastor, gave today was about how waiting can be the hardest part of living a life for God. Paul waited 10 years after his calling to begin what we know as his ministry. He was getting to know God and growing closer to him. But it had to have been hard. And so it is here. We wait for the victory God has promised. We see little victories all the time, but when we look at the big picture, it looks hopeless. Just like CS Lewis said in The Screwtape Letters. If the enemy can make us look at the future in one big lump, it becomes too big to handle. It is when we trust God one day at a time that we give Him the opportunity to work through us.
So that is what I am going to do. I am going to get on a plane in 2 days and leave, and I am just going to have to trust God to do whatever He is going to do without me. Its almost like He doesn't actually need me. Haha, what a revelation...
Anyway, please pray for safe travel for everyone and continue to pray for the ministry here. It is really difficult, and can be quite depressing, but this way we can really tell when God shows up.